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The Little Red Hen - Updated

7/1/2015

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    So, I was checking my emails this morning and I found this little story in my inbox. It was the old children's story, the Little Red Hen. Or at least, a slightly updated version of it. I had a few chuckles from reading it, and comparing real life to its principles.

    I figured I'd post it here for any random readers to come across. And whoever wrote this, you ma'am/sir, are brilliant.
The Little Red Hen - updated

"Who will help me plant my wheat?" asked the little red hen.
"Not I," said the cow.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Not I," said the pig.
"Not I," said the goose.
"Then I will do it by myself." She planted her crop and the wheat grew and ripened.

"Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Out of my classification," said the pig.
"I'd lose my seniority," said the cow.
"I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.
"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen, and so she did.

"Who will help me bake the bread?" asked the little red hen.
"That would be overtime for me," said the cow.
"I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck.
"I'm a dropout and never learned how," said the pig.
"If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination," said the goose.
"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen.

She baked five loaves and the wonderful aroma filled the land, all of her neighbors couldn't help but enjoy the fragrance. They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share but the little red hen said, "No, I have worked hard on all five loaves, and I will freeze what I don't eat."

"Excess profits!" cried the cow.
"Capitalist leech!" screamed the duck.
"I demand equal rights!" yelled the goose.
The pig just grunted in disdain.
And they all painted 'Unfair!' picket signs and marched around and around the little red hen, shouting obscenities.

Then the farmer came. He said to the little red hen, "You must not be so greedy."
"But I worked and earned the bread," said the little red hen.
"Exactly," said the farmer. "That is what makes our free enterprise system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our modern government regulations, the productive workers must divide the fruits of their labor with those who are not working and idle."

And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who smiled and clucked, "I am grateful, for now I truly understand."

But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her since she never again baked bread because she joined the 'party' and got her bread free.

'Fairness' had been established. Individual initiative had died but nobody noticed; perhaps no one cared, so long as there was free bread that 'the rich' were paying for.

The End





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